Biggest SUV on the planet

While looking for more reasons to hate SUVs and the people who drive them, I came across a humorous road test and review of the Ford Excursion, which is currently the biggest SUV on the planet.

Excrescence, which also fits Ford’s ex post facto nomenclature scheme for its lineup of SUVs, might have been a better name for this monstrous outgrowth of the sport-ute craze. Our dictionary says “excursion” means a short journey or outing made for pleasure or a trip at a special reduced fare. Since this truck isn’t pleasurable to pilot, costs more than 40 large and slurps fuel like a wino does Boone’s Farm, excursion is not exactly accurate.

It’s 6.5 feet wide, 19 feet long, 6.5 feet high, and weighs 8,600lbs. This thing is almost bigger than the Hummer, which is slightly shorter in both length and height, but is just over 7 feet wide and weighs around a ton more. Compare this to my Honda Accord which is 5.5 feet wide, 15 feet long, 4.5 feet high, and weighs around two-thirds less at 2,700lbs. I’ll take small, fast, and maneuverable over big, clunky, and unstable any day.

I’m not too upset about Hummers, because their price of close to $100k sets a high enough barrier to entry that there aren’t very many of them around. SUVs, on the other hand, have become way too popular, IMO. I’d like to see the DMV require a different class license for some of the larger ones, due to the fact that they’re so much more dangerous to other drivers than regular cars are. I really hope insurance companies take into account the fact that SUVs do a lot more damage to whatever they hit, both to the other cars and their occupants.